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  • Sabotage & Salem’s Lot

    A preview of the upcoming Salem’s Lot dialogue:

    Andrea: Salem’s Lot is slow going.
    Pat: At first. After the first 50 pages, I tore through it.
    Andrea: I am almost halfway through.
    Pat: You have no appreciation of vampire stories that don’t involve homosexual incest.
    Andrea: Probably. It’s not bad—I am just not compelled.
    Pat: Pregnancy is ruining your literary acumen.
    Andrea: Possibly.

    Yes, we actually have an editing process. It looks something like this:

    Pat: Excuse me, but did you really think that I would believe for a second that I said “LOLOLOLOL HILARIOUS”?
    Andrea: You did! I NEVER say LOL. EVER.
    Pat: me: IS THAT BARLOW IN THE FUCKING WINDOW?
    11:58 AM Andrea: LOLOLOLOL HILARIOUS
    Andrea: That last timestamp was missing from my copy. I stand corrected.
    Pat: No, it’s not. I’m looking at the text file as we speak.
    Andrea: Well, maybe I accidentally deleted it!
    Pat: me: IS THAT BARLOW IN THE FUCKING WINDOW?
    PM Andrea: LOLOLOLOL HILARIOUS haha rob lowe
    Andrea: I think I was confused by all the caps in both and assumed they went together.
    Pat: Let me clarify, because I want to make sure I’m hearing you right. You thought I had said, and I quote: “IS THAT BARLOW IN THE FUCKING WINDOW? PM Andrea: LOLOLOLOL HILARIOUS”?
    Andrea: Yes.

  • Carrie

    Carrie White, daughter of a crazy Jesus person, is picked on at school. She’s chubby but not entirely ugly, and she may have a history of telekinetic manifestations. The story starts with her first period at the age of sixteen, as she starts bleeding in the gym showers and gets pelted with tampons. The clique gets in trouble and fractures into a group that wants to get Carrie back for getting them in trouble, and one singular girl, Sue Snell, who apparently symbolizes all the kindness youth can muster. That girl, who we know survives what comes to be called, simply, “Prom Night,” convinces her boyfriend Tommy—the only other human being in the school—to ask Carrie to the Spring Ball, while leader of the anti-Carrie clique, Christine, assembles a cadre of townies to prepare her revenge plot against the telekinetic, far-fatter-than-Sissy-Spacek Carrie.

    (more…)

  • The Sparrows Aren’t Flying Again

    Andrea: Tim continues to be confused by the sparrow assignment.
    Pat: For god’s sake.
    Andrea: He was making something with flying birds, but then I was like, no, they should be standing in a scary flock. And then he said, “Does Pat know that sparrows aren’t scary?”
    Pat: Draw a flock of sparrows, a thick, big flock. In flight. Make the flock look ominous.
    Andrea: Tell him that on Facebook.
    Pat: He’ll just respond with something from Noam Chomsky. How about a couple of crows perched on powerlines, looking evil?
    Andrea: Okay. You are the art director.

    (Much, much later…)

  • The Constant Writer

    culpritStephen King, born 1947 in Portland, Maine, is perhaps the most successful novelist in the universe, with over 350 million copies of his books having been sold since 1974.

    Pat: That’s our culprit.
    Andrea: I don’t know if that is really endearing or really creepy.
    Pat: It’s clearly a joke, perpetrated by him and Tabitha, who took the picture.
    Andrea: On one hand, he looks like he’s saying “come have a sleepover with me.” On the other hand, it looks like he’s saying “come have a sleepover with me.”

    (more…)

  • The Constant Readers

    The Constant Reader aims to read every piece of fiction that Stephen King has ever written, so it’s probably helpful to list what we consider to be on our plates. You’ll notice perhaps that there are only three novels that neither of us have read, and one of those hasn’t been published yet. All told—and strangely enough—we’ve each read 39 Stephen King books, not counting, of course, anything we’ve reread (Pat, for example, has reread the entire Dark Tower series each time a new book came out after The Wastelands).

    (Buried amongst books…)

The Drinking Game
is down for maintenance

Season 1
1974 — Carrie
1975 — Salem's Lot
1977 — The Shining
1977 — Rage
1978 — Night Shift

Season 2
1978 — The Stand
1979 — Long Walk
1979 — Dead Zone

Season 3
1980 — Firestarter
1981 — Roadwork
1981 — Cujo
1982 — Running Man

Season 4
1982 — The Gunslinger
1982 — Different Seasons
1983 — Christine
1983 — Pet Sematary
1983 — Cycle Of The Werewolf
1984 — Talisman
1984 — Thinner
1984 — The Mist
1984 — Skeleton Crew
1986 — IT

Season 5
1987 — Eyes Of The Dragon
1987 — The Drawing Of The Three
1987 — Misery
1987 — The Tommyknockers

Season 6
1989 — The Dark Half
1990 — Four Past Midnight
1991 — The Waste Lands
1991 — Needful Things
1992 — Gerald's Game
1992 — Dolores Claiborne
1993 — Nightmares & Dreamscapes

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