Andrea: Chloe Grace Moretz is WAY too pretty.
Pat: It’s not just that she’s too pretty—she’s too adorable. Like, you feel bad for her not because bad stuff is happening to her, but because it’s happening to an adorable younger sister.
Andrea: Yeah. And also she’s kind of hot, too.
Andrea: It looks good though.
Pat: All they really did was not put makeup on her and give her the dowdiest hair imaginable. Which, picturing it in the 70s or 80s, as I was, made the hairstyle seem appropriate. CHIC, EVEN.
Andrea: I thought Julianne Moore looked great as the mom though.
Pat: She’s got that kind of gaunt and wearied look in the trailer I expect from Mrs. White.
Andrea: Is it a period piece or supposed to be modern? I couldn’t really tell from the photo.
Pat: DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST ASK ME IF CARRIE IS A “PERIOD PIECE”?
Pat: It’s like you don’t know more than one definition for any one word.
Andrea: They kept the period scene. I was worried about that.
Pat:: And of course they kept the period scene. Getting rid of that would be like getting rid of the pig’s blood.
Andrea: PLUG IT UP. (more…)
Pat: Just watched it. Holy fuck.
Andrea: idk if that is a good or a bad “holy fuck.”
Pat: Good. Oh so good.
Andrea: Apparently, it is going to be super bloody.
Pat: People are starring in Stephen King movies that are more than half our age.
Andrea: I know. We have failed at life.
Pat: Did you watch it yet?
Andrea: AWESOME. (more…)
The feral ingenue from Kickass, Chloe Moretz, has been tapped to play the title character in a new MGM remake of Carrie. While she seems exactly zero scary, the whole Sissy Spacek creepy angle didn’t work for me in the original movie, so maybe the transformation from adorable blonde thing to psychokinetic lunatic will be perfect. Moretz, who inexplicably spoke with an English accent along with everyone else in Martin Scorsese’s Hugo, will be directed by Boys Don’t Cry filmmaker Kim Pierce.
Andrea: Did you hear that they cast Chloe Moretz in the Carrie remake?
Pat: Sounds familiar…
Andrea: She’s not even ugly?!
Pat: I posted it on our blog, with my argument that it didn’t work with creepy, bug-eye Sissy Spacek.
Pat: So they might as well try it with a more angelic actress.
Andrea: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DIDN’T WORK?
Andrea: She was perfect.
Pat: She was AWFUL.
Andrea: I strongly disagree.
Pat: You strongly SMELL BAD.
Carrie White, daughter of a crazy Jesus person, is picked on at school. She’s chubby but not entirely ugly, and she may have a history of telekinetic manifestations. The story starts with her first period at the age of sixteen, as she starts bleeding in the gym showers and gets pelted with tampons. The clique gets in trouble and fractures into a group that wants to get Carrie back for getting them in trouble, and one singular girl, Sue Snell, who apparently symbolizes all the kindness youth can muster. That girl, who we know survives what comes to be called, simply, “Prom Night,” convinces her boyfriend Tommy—the only other human being in the school—to ask Carrie to the Spring Ball, while leader of the anti-Carrie clique, Christine, assembles a cadre of townies to prepare her revenge plot against the telekinetic, far-fatter-than-Sissy-Spacek Carrie.