Interlude: Sponge-gloved Handjobs

Interlude: Sponge-gloved Handjobs
April 11, 2013 Constant Readers

Andrea: I just got an email from a children’s publication with their model search winners, and I have to say, my kid is way cuter than all of them!
Pat: True story: that story sucked.
Andrea: I don’t know that I would call it a story.
Pat: True story that doesn’t suck: I’ve been watching end-of-the-world movies, and two of them happened to have Denise Crosby in them—she, the giver of sponge-gloved handjobs.
Andrea: Huh? Who is Denise Crosby? Are you talking about Dee Wallace Stone?
Pat: Yes, I accidentally misspelled “Dee Wallace Stone” as “Denise Crosby.”
I guess “sponge-gloved handjobs” doesn’t ring a bell with you because your mind is goo.
Andrea: Oh, the mom from Pet Sematary.
I’m not on a first-name or actually any-name basis with her.
Pat: Did Google have to help you with that?
Andrea: NO.
Pat: Did you google “Denise Crosby” and “Why am brain filled with goo?”
Andrea: You are one cynical bastard.
Pat: “Siri, look up ‘Alzheimer’s cures.'”

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