Pat: Just watched it. Holy fuck.
Andrea: idk if that is a good or a bad “holy fuck.”
Pat: Good. Oh so good.
Andrea: Apparently, it is going to be super bloody.
Pat: People are starring in Stephen King movies that are more than half our age.
Andrea: I know. We have failed at life.
Pat: Did you watch it yet?
I just watched it. They show the scariest part of the original, and the town burning which is the best part of the book.
I totally want to see this.
Pat: I guess the voice-overs were townsfolk she was hearing telepathically?
Andrea: Could have been. I watched it on my phone, so I didn’t get the full effect.
Pat: I don’t know, I wish they hadn’t done the hitching breath thing.
And what about the fact that, even at 15, Chloe Moretz is stunning? Can you believe her as a social pariah on the order of Carrie fucking White?
Andrea: Well, in the book, she’s overweight and pimply, and her mom dresses her like shit, but when she’s all done up for the prom, she’s beautiful.
Which Sissy Spacek was perfect for.
Pat: Beautiful for Sissy Spacek, anyway, but that’s a good point.
Andrea: It’s hard to say without seeing a shot of her at the beginning of the movie.
Pat: You could just watch Hugo. Pretty sure that was a prequel to Carrie.
Pat: Trust me and call this number immediately. 207-404-2604.
Andrea calls the number, which rings a few times and is answered by the very convincing voice of a teenage girl. “Hello? …who is this? …is this someone from my school?” and so on, until Carrie’s fucking batshit crazy mother starts yelling at her. Carrie starts screaming.
Andrea: WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK.
Is that Carrie-related viral marketing?
Pat: YES. It chilled my whole spine.
Andrea: I HAD TO HANG UP IT WAS TOO SCARY.