Previewing Firestarter

Previewing Firestarter
March 28, 2012 Constant Readers

December 7th, 2011, in which Andrea is gullible:
Andrea: omg what about what’s it called?
The next SK.
Pat: Firestarter.
Andrea: No, isn’t it Roadwork?
or Running Man?
I forget and am too lazy to google.
Pat: Pretty sure it’s Firestarter.
Andrea: You are right.
So anyway, can that be next?
Pat: UGH FINE
Andrea: I am beginning to doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Then it is Roadwork, THEN CUJO OMG.
Pat: In Spanish, it’s pronounced “koo-yo.”
Andrea: fer real?
Pat: No.
Andrea: That is a silly thing to lie about.
BUT GUESS WHAT??
I got my mom’s kindle, and now I will be able to take notes right in the book.
That will make things SO much easier.
Pat: Oh good, you’ll be able to get right the notes you NEVER REMEMBER THE MEANING OF.

January 16th, in which Andrea reuses phrases and actually thinks Firestarter might be out of print:
Pat: I HAVE THREE BOOKS IN MY BAG. WHY CAN’T I JUST PICK ONE AND READ IT?
Andrea: You totally said you were reading The Running Man next.
Pat: Who says that isn’t one of the books?
Andrea: If it was, you wouldn’t have to ask that question.
Pat: Oh ho ho, says you.
Andrea: Actually Firestarter is next.
Then Roadwork
THEN CUJO OMG
Pat: Shut yer hole.
Andrea: So Firestarter? You gettin’ that shit?
Pat: Maybe, if it’s still in print.
Too busy reading Running man.
Andrea: omg
You are the worst.
So what if Firestarter is out of print? Constant Reader ends?
Pat: It’s not out of print, you mongoloid.

January 18th, 2912, in which Andrea does not understand Kindle:
Andrea: BY THE WAY
Are you gonna get Firestarter?
Pat: Yeah, at some point. Do you have it?
Andrea: Nope.
I thought I would download it for ease of notetaking but there is no kindle edition wtf.
Pat: omg, so shut up!
Andrea: Yeah, but you take a long time to get it and then read in one day.
Pat: Yeah, so whatever.
Andrea: I can get it immediately and then take longer to read it.
So you should get it first is what i’m saying.
Pat: Why should I get it first if you’ll take longer to read it?
That makes no sense.
If I get it a week after you do, I’ll still finish it a week before you do.
Andrea: Okay so I will get it soon.
Pat: So you should get it first because you read slow.
Andrea: WHY IS IT NOT KINDLE
Pat: Because kindles are for fascists.

January 31st, 2012, in which Andrea has a degenerative neurological disase:
Andrea: Are you ever gonna get Firestarter btw
Pat: Do you have it?
Andrea: No.
Pat: So shut your mouth.
Andrea: Yeah but I can get it from library in one second.
Pat: Yet you haven’t.
Even though you know I’m not going to start it until you do.
Andrea: ok will get
Pat: We already had this discussion. Go get the book, start reading it, and I’ll start a week after and still beat you.
Andrea: SOMETIMES I FORGET THINGS OK

February 13th, 2012, no, Andrea will not actually follow through on this:
Andrea: I am going to look for Firestarter at the library tonight. FYI
Pat: Yeah, sure.
Andrea: omg
Pat: I’ve been buying so many books.
Andrea: LOL
Buy Firestarter, you turd.
Have you talked to the cute girl yet?
Pat: Yes. I told her I would like to pay cash.

March 3rd, 2012, in which, nope, not yet:
Andrea: I didnt even start Firestarter yet, in case you were wondering.
Pat: Yeah, I figured.
That’s why I’ve continued reading other things.
Andrea: HOW DOES IT feel to be a gigantic curmudgeonly turd?

March 16th, 2012, in which we’re at three months and counting:
Andrea: BUY FIRESTARTER.
Pat: Bitch please. Have you even started it?
Andrea: hah no.
Pat: So shut yer whore mouth.
It’s been months.
You are useless.
Andrea: I don’t even want to explain my OCD library borrowing reading system to you but Firestarter keeps getting bumped to the bottom of the list.
Pat: I’m reading three books right now, so you can blow me.
Andrea: I would prefer to not, actually.
Pat: oh lol you took it literally and put me in my place lfmao
Andrea: I hope you catch fire.
Pat: Maybe if you were reading Firestarter, you could set me on fire with your mind.
OH SHIT.
TO THE DOME, HALLOWELL.
Andrea: Good one.

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