The Sparrows Aren’t Flying Again

The Sparrows Aren’t Flying Again
August 8, 2009 Constant Readers

Andrea: Tim continues to be confused by the sparrow assignment.
Pat: For god’s sake.
Andrea: He was making something with flying birds, but then I was like, no, they should be standing in a scary flock. And then he said, “Does Pat know that sparrows aren’t scary?”
Pat: Draw a flock of sparrows, a thick, big flock. In flight. Make the flock look ominous.
Andrea: Tell him that on Facebook.
Pat: He’ll just respond with something from Noam Chomsky. How about a couple of crows perched on powerlines, looking evil?
Andrea: Okay. You are the art director.

Much, much later:

Andrea: WAY TO MENTION THE BLOG IN YOUR LIST OF PROJECTS.

Pat: I don’t want to give people a way to find it in its current state.
Pat: WHAT WITH THE LACK OF BAD-ASS SPARROWS.

Andrea: Find some f’ing sparrow clip art. He is not going to do it anytime soon.

Pat: FINE. I THOUGHT TIM WOULD LIKE TO BE INVOLVED AND USE HIS ART SKILLZ.

Andrea: I THOUGHT SO TOO BUT HE HAS LIKE 40 OTHER PROJECTS.

Pat: What 40 other projects! Thumb up his butt is not a project.

Andrea: Find a job. That takes all day every day. Getting ready to be my baby daddy.

Pat: IT’S DRAWING. I’VE SEEN HIM DRAW A WHOLE FUCKING THING AT THE DINER BETWEEN ORDERING AND EATING.

Andrea: Okay. I will ask him again. And maybe cry a little.

Pat: I am not impressed with Tim’s artistic mettle.

Andrea: Whatev. Check out his awesome football pool website.

Pat: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHEN DID HE DO THAT?

Andrea: I DONT KNOW! WHY?

Pat: BECAUSE IT WAS AFTER WE ASKED HIM TO DO THE SPARROWS, THAT’S WHY.
Pat: Serve him with fake divorce papers that cite “Failure to draw sparrows” as the reason.

Andrea: I told you to talk to him about the sparrows because he needed more direction.

Pat: You live with him and know what I meant by “bad-ass flock.”

Andrea: I KNOW, BUT HE DIDNT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY

Pat: I’m going to do all the web design and coding of the site. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS EXPLAIN A BAD-ASS FLOCK OF SPARROWS.

Andrea: I TRIED OH LORD HOW I TRIED.

Pat: Every fucking piece of illustrated clipart of flocks is goddamn geese.
Pat: Can you explain to him a set of powerlines going from left to right over like 800px, with one or two evil looking crows perched?

Andrea: You said nothing about the powerlines before.

Pat: Apparently, you didn’t read the beginning of this post, which I took from the Carrie edits that you made.

Andrea: I did my part of the Carrie edits like 100 years ago.

Pat: that has nothing to do with anything